Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Quickie: Adult Children of Parents with BPD

While reading Surviving a Borderline Parent by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman, PH.D., LCSW, I came across tidbits of information regarding traits, characteristics, behaviors, emotions, etc. of adult children of parents with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I'd like to share.
"...sons and daughters may feel like they can't live life independently while maintaining a relationship with their parent." pg. 32
"...adult children report difficulty navigating boundaries and setting appropriate limits with others." pg. 33
"Many adult children have trouble recalling times when they just felt like fun-loving, silly kids." pg. 33
"They may have difficulty accepting care and attention. It's hard for them to feel happy and content." pg. 34
"Adult children may have learned to be shy and self-conscious about their physical appearance, behavior, and emotions." pg. 36
'"They may lack a well-defined sense of self..." pg. 37
"Adult children feel like they, too, fell down, like they failed as children and are flawed or 'defective,'... pg. 37
The reason I'm sharing these excerpts is a) this describes me to a T b) I feel confident that others, maybe you, feel some of these same ways. The more I read, the more doors open in my heart and soul, and I want to share, share, share.

Surviving a Borderline Parent by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman, PH.D., LCSW is a great book and I highly recommend it. Why? It eases you into remembering your childhood and emotions, and gives insight on what and why you feel certain ways as an adult child. And I love that they use the term "adult child." I wanted to scream so many times as an adult to my mother, "But I am the CHILD!" No matter my age, I will always be the child, and my mother will always be the adult. She will always hold the ultimate responsibility. That fact adds a few feathers to my wings.

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