Sunday, May 3, 2015

Back in the Swing of Things

I went about a week without my ADHD medication because I ignorantly mismanaged taking my medications (i.e., taking multiple doses). I will not do that again. This was the last time, because that week I was miserable. No motivation. No concentration. Just miserable.

I know others have experienced this same struggle. Taking your medicines as prescribed, especially when you're experiencing certain emotions, diagnoses, or ailments. But I didn't go to medical school, and I certainly don't get paid $300 an hour, so it's probably best if I follow my doctor's orders. Why spend the money on medications and physician visits if I'm just going to do things my own way?

So I'm back. Currently updating my resume. I'm looking for more, more fullfilment in my career, more utilization of the degree I worked so hard to obtain. My current role does not stretch me mentally or professionally. I want to be stretched, pushed to my limit so I can grow and just plain get better at my profession.

I've been socializing more, and actually went to an after-work function with my fiancie and a few of his coworkers. I never go anywhere with him and his friends. I feel so awkward, out of place, paranoid. I'm becoming quite confident in my lunches and happy hours with my own coworkers, still with a sense of "what do I look/sound/think like" but not as loud as before. I'm getting better -- sushi roll by sushi roll by mohito.

And that brings me to my drinking. Non-existent! I went to happy hour this past week, had two drinks and drank 10 glasses of water. I no longer feel I have to get "buzzed" or drunk to loosen up and act more myself. My true self is not drunk. My true self is stable, interesting, smart, introspective, and forever growing.

So I'm back. And I'm staying back.

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