Friday, July 4, 2014

New Enjoyment

I guess lately I haven't felt like I have anything to say that's worth posting...until now, at 3 a.m. Maybe because the world as I know it is quiet and I am alone with thoughts. I've read a few books lately: A Fine Balance, Lisa Wingate's Wildwood Creek, and Breath, Eyes, Memory. I wish I had taken notes of the passages that affected me, but I didn't, for the same reason as not posting: why bother?"

I enjoy writing and I enjoy posting to my blog. Those two reasons are enough to "bother." So here I am, at 3 am., finally allowing myself to do something I enjoy. I realize as I sit here typing quietly as to not wake up my fiancee, that any thought, any experience is worth posting. It's my journey, my own journey. What could be more unique than the words that run through my mind and the actions my body takes?

I've taken some big steps lately. I've let people in! I've gone to lunch with co-workers, and even shared with a few my semi-recent ADHD diagnosis. I'm not embarrased about it. Someone asked me about my mom, if I was going to see her for some holiday, and I said, "I don't really talk to my mom." It was hard to say out loud, especially to someone I haven't known long, but it's my truth, so I shared. With that being said, I am careful what I share and to whom because I know that it could potentially bite me in the tail. It's okay to be careful.

And, I started yoga! Talk about mentally and physically challenging. What's more is that a small group of my co-workers first decided to start taking yoga classes at a studio (yes, I said studio. who am I?) by our office, and they asked me if I wanted to join in, so I simply said, "Yes." The group includes my boss, which is awkward because I'm positive my sweaty butt has been in her face on at least 3 occassions. I signed up for 2 months at a special rate I couldn't pass up, and I'm going regularly and allowing myself to do something new and that I am coming to enjoy, and enjoying it with other people.

So, here I am very early in the morning, or late at night depending on your perspective, and I realize that life is worth writing about. There is newness in my life, a newness I haven't before experienced. Simply stated, it's kind of cool. So I write.

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