Thursday, October 20, 2011

Planning My Pain

I am .4 pounds away from entering the next 10 pound bracket for my weight - and it's the bracket that means I'm heavier.  I said I would never let myself get over 130 pounds; I said that I would never let myself get over 140 pounds; I said I would never let myself get over 150 pounds.  And here I am, a mere kolache away from hitting 160 pounds.

I wear the weight well, at least I think I do.  But when I look at myself in pictures, I feel like I look heavier than in "real life".  Does the phrase "the camera adds 10 pounds" apply to digital cameras as well?  It doesn't matter.  The time has come.

I've been averaging 1-2 Joyce Meyer podcasts a day.  If you ever need motivation slapped across your face, listen to Joyce Meyer.  The bottom line of her messages - shut up and do it.  And I'm pretty sure she's used those exact words a time or two thousand.  So, I'm shutting up and I'm doing it.  Healing is a mind, body, and soul endeavor.  I'm most certainly working on the mind and soul, but the body part - well, see first paragraph. 

I mapped out a plan of attack on these love handles.  21 days straight of cardio + eating smart.  I'm going to a wedding in D.C. in 3 weeks and am way far from how I'd like to look - but a 21 day push will drop at least a few pounds and give me an extra energy and confidence boost.  Once I'm back from D.C., the marathon training begins.

Yes, I'm doing it.  I'm shutting up and I'm doing it. 

A few years back, after my ex-fiance and I broke up, I joined a running group to give me something to fill my time, and also to help me complete the marathon that's been on my bucket list since I was sixteen.  During my time with the running group, my pain was concentrated on my legs and butt and shins and less on my heart.  Those months of running were very therapeutic for me and I felt the best I ever had.  I got my mileage up to 20 miles - TWENTY miles!  I completed a half marathon, and quit running a month or so later.  I know I am able to do it again, and I also know I am able to quit.  I want to do it, all 26.2 miles.

On my calendar, the 21 days of cardio are listed as my "pre-marathon training workouts".  I did this for two reasons: 1) So the cardio served a larger purpose than just losing weight before a wedding that isn't even mine and 2) So when I began my marathon training, I wasn't on day 1 - I will have already put in a good amount of work.

Yesterday after work, I hit up the gym for my first grueling 60 minute workout, and when I was finished I told Mr. P, "I feel like I could puke and have a heart attack all at the same time."  Ugh, I felt terrible.  Then I went home and cooked a delicious, simple meal, started a new Lisa Wingate novel, and went to bed very, very exhausted, but content.  Today, as I write this post, I feel wonderful.  Those 60 minutes got more out of me than just sweat.  I feel renewed.

I'm obviously in the honeymoon phase of working out.  One day in and I feel GREAT.  But as Joyce Meyer says, it's not always going to feel great.  It's going to get hard and painful and I'm going to want to quit.  But it's at those times that I've got to keep going, and when I come out of the pain and hardship, I'll experience glory like never before.  I've decided that once I hit my wall that I'll inevitably hit, and I consider not putting in the work required to accomplish the 26.2, I'm going to turn on a Joyce Meyer podcast and let her slap me into action.

I can't say I'll like any of this, and I can say I am certain I will experience pain.  But I'm keeping the end as my focus - when I'm fitter, leaner, and crossing the finish line - and when all this pain will have been worth it.  This training, combined with my writing and reading and counseling, I've got to admit, I'm a bit giddy for the glory that will come. 

The required mileage I will complete every day, from November through March, is written on my calendar - a calendar I created specifically for this endeavor.  My marathon is set for March 18th, 2012 in Seabrook, Texas.  I've planned my pain, now it's time to start feeling it.

1 comment:

  1. So captured by your title...and your determination. Good luck with the marathon!

    I've only done a 5K once, but I bet there are some serious runners in The High Calling. Let me see if I can remember who...