Thursday, July 14, 2011

Freakin' Contentment

Early morning pre-work bedroom organization did not happen, but I did start laundry and cleanup once I returned home from work. I feel better about my bedroom situation; if you recall, last night I was having a bit of a freak-out over the mess.

I've had quite a few freak-outs recently. I went on an amazing vacation, and cried myself to sleep the night before we left. I found myself wanting alone time even though I was surrounded by great friends and family, and I had a minor breakdown on the plane ride home. The past couple of weeks I've felt emotionally and mentally drained.

I definitely don't think I am alone in these feelings, but the difference between me and others who share these feelings is the ability to persevere in living a high quality life. I kind of just...quit. A day, a few days...I check out. I am distant, angry, sad, worried - and I isolate. Is it possible to be drained and continue working hard, day after day, while being cheerful in nature with those around you? I feel like this is just another life skill I've yet to learn.

At least I can say that I have found a bit of relief in reading Lisa Wingate novels - it has calmed me and added some peace and contentment in my life. I suppose I should be grateful for the small things, for the ordinary ways I have found to cope. I'm not sure I'll ever stop expecting myself to be superwoman in every aspect of my life.

Today I'll just have to be content with doing laundry and reading in bed.

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