Wednesday, May 4, 2011

email snapshot of how I'm feeling now

I know we talked today and it sounded like everything is going really well, which it is, but my emotions and thoughts are going back and forth between extremes - on the surface parts of my life are good but underneath I feel so sad and hopeless.  Through the good stuff happening, I think - what's the point?  I'm still going to be sad and die from doing something stupid like drinking or a car accident.  I don't feel in control; I feel like my emotions and thoughts are their own person taking control.  What's going to make me happy?  And I'm in this relationship with a guy who really is my best friend, but he doesn't believe in God, and I feel like I am really needing and wanting to put God as the priority in my life - like LIVE for him, and live a life of ministry and service but I don't want to break things off with this guy.  I feel like it's for real with him; we've been such great friends and he's seen me through everything.  Anyways, I am sorry to ramble but this is how I'm feeling at this moment.  So, if you are available for a phone appt this week, we can do it morning or evening or I can leave work early and do mid-afternoon.

No comments:

Post a Comment