Thursday, April 7, 2011

Mind Over Matter

Life is so much more enjoyable when I include people in it (and laying in bed out of it). 

I am HBIC of an event at work - I am working hard (and smart) to gain media coverage, secure volunteers to keep our costs low (it's benefiting a local non-profit), and reaching out to community businesses and organizations for support and participation.  And I feel enlivened!

This is my thing.  This is my thing that moves me and gets me up in the morning (I got to work early - this from a girl who has had many mornings dreading the day).  Reaching out, asking for help, getting community leaders engaged and excited...I love this. 

I left work after a busy day of phone calls, emails, and agenda setting...then, I worked out.  For one hour.  Burning away 640 calories.  Me.  After work.  Kept going. 

It's funny...I stepped into my room to drop my stuff off (two bags, take the dog out, get changed, etc.), and I looked at my bed and for a few seconds, just a few seconds, I felt heavy and lethargic all of a sudden and considered collapsing into a pile of pillows that I knew would be safe and comfortable.  That type of thinking is often referred to one's small self.  Well, I told that small self where to go, got changed, and proceeded on with my evening to have an awesome work out. 

I also made the decision to attend a family function that I was set against going to.  It's healthy, it's fun, and it would mean a lot of things to a lot of people.  Most importantly, it would mean a lot to my journey and to my healing.  Just the kind of thing I don't want to go to.  Well, my dad called me today and asked me about my attendance plans.  I gave very generic answers as to my plans this weekend and if I would be able to make it or not.  We hung up, some time passed, I headed home from work, and during my commute I decided I was going.  Many months ago, in response to a similar dilemma, my counselor said, "Just tell yourself -- this is for my progress."  I'm reminded of those words at this moment.

So here it is, 7:00pm and I've got a fulfilling day behind me, and an evening wide open for preparing dinner, reading, relaxing, and indulging in some un-real Real Housewives of NYC...only to wake up and do it all over again.  And for one of the first times in a very long time, I really don't mind.

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