Sunday, December 19, 2010

Courage

I want to run and read and pray and get back to the progress I was making several months ago.  I realize I have been waiting to "feel" like doing these things.  Well, when the alarm clock sounds at 6am, I am not going to feel like doing much of anything.  The best I ever felt was when I was running before work each morning, and I want to get back to that.

I absolutely love my job.  This is a blessing.  But I also see that because I am happy with my work does not mean I am happy with my life.  When certain aspects of my life are going well, I am easily fooled into thinking I am doing well all around.  

After work each day, I come home, make some food, and crawl into bed and watch tv until I fall asleep.  I see that this is not healthy - everyday getting into bed around 6pm.  I have plenty of time to read my Nouwen book and do some journaling - and I sense that I am scared of the emotions that  my reading and writing will invoke.

Lord, I pray to you for courage.  Give me the courage to take on any emotion that may arise from the actions that You lead me to take part in.

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