Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A.N.X.I.E.T.Y?

Remain planted.  No more running or hiding or dodging.  Healing comes from remaining where I am, no matter how crappy circumstances may be, weather the storm and I will blossom.  Trust and be faithful.

I said those words.  I wish I would have re-read the post that these words were a part of about 5 hours ago...

This week, I began in a new position.  Today was exciting.  Today was overwhelming.  I had a mini-meltdown after work today.  I was all over the place - frustrated, hyper, tired, disorganized, motivated, demotivated - I was a wreck.  

What's wrong with me?  I kept thinking these words.  I made a quick trip to the grocery store and thought everyone was looking at me, reading my every thought and emotion within seconds of seeing my face.  Do you ever feel this way?  What is this, this "episode" I had?  Is it even worthy of being labeled an episode?

I have calmed down a bit, but still have hundreds of thoughts and worries running through my head.  I feel led to draft up a life plan, at least a "this week of my life" plan.  Maybe I need to do this - schedule every hour that is manageable for me to schedule, and then leave what I cannot control (which, I know, is essentially everything) up to God.  

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