Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The "S" Word - Part 2

I plopped down next to my bed. I felt a nagging inside me to listen to a Joyce podcast. Would you believe the newest podcast was titled "Emotional Stability"? I knew I had to listen. This is what I wrote while listening.

control through manipulation - my mother
I see this in my own life. I cry, get angry, use, and abuse until I get what I want--which is almost always something that gives me only short-term gratification.

Family, friends, men, I approach God the same way I approach others? With manipulation, and deceit?

Dear Lord, forgive me. Forgive me, and love me, and thank you for wiping my eyes clean.

No more manipulation. I will remain in control by relinquishment. I will control my life by positivity, by faith, by love. No more cycles. I want stability; I need stability.

Lord, grant me stability from the pits of my soul to the tips of my toes.

I'm just a pile of bones drifting through the hours. I want to live. Live with purpose and positivity and humility. Live with confidence and grace and gratitude. Forgive and love. Shine and comfort.

Breathe life into me, oh Lord.

1 comment:

  1. This post could be my own words today. Thank you. God bless you.