Monday, November 15, 2010

From the "S" Word to W's: Weekend Wonderment

I had one of the most blessed weekends of my life. The weekend began getting off of work at 3pm, and moving completely in to my new place!

Now, I say "completely in" not because my boxes are all unpacked ('cause I've still got lots to do) but because I had some stuff at my dad's, some stuff at my in-between home (the room I subleased for two weeks), and some stuff in the garage at the new place. For a few months my life was divided between three houses, two jobs, and alot of stuff, materialistic and emotional, to sort through. This weekend was the culmination of a lot (although, not all) of the progress I've made recently.

Everywhere I went, I saw and heard things that struck a chord in me I didn't know I had. My dear friend from my old town came to visit me and helped me move a few heavy things into my new place as well. He's someone who has seen me at my lowest points and he's still here next to me. I felt proud for him to see my new place, to see me getting my life organized and stable and taking control of my responsibilities. We went to Austin-only places and events, and I felt an overall sense of contentment and intrigue. I experienced enjoyment of going to new places, of seeing and talking with new people. I appreciated my surroundings and the company I was in.

For Saturday's lunch, we went to Waterloo Icehouse. Our table was in a room with one lime green wall accented with black and white photographs in black frames. I could not get over the wall! I thoroughly enjoyed looking at it! It inspired my heart--this wall. I realized how special it was for me to experience such happy feelings from such a silly object as a green wall. I

After lunch, I went to my new roommate's old house, the house in which the room that I subleased was in. I stayed there for only two weeks but felt I should help the girls moving out clean the place up. I spent a good two hours helping clean, and I felt good that I was contributing when I really didn't have to. This is different from how I used to treat roommates - I really didn't care whether I was on good terms with them. But when Kayla, my new roomie, said she would be cleaning up the house upon moveout, it wasn't even a question whether or not I would help. I wanted to help her. I am her roommate, and I want her to know she can count on me.

Afterwards, my friend and I went to pickup a mattress I bought from a theatre coworker. She lives on the eastside of Austin, not the greatest of neighborhoods. She owns her own home, and as we were talking about her home and the area, she said something that caught my attention. She said, "This is my home. It's a shack, but it's my shack". She doesn't live in a brand new home; her home doesn't feature the lastest updates and technologies. But...it's hers. She owns it. It is her own sanctuary, and she loves it. This made me think--what in my life do I need to love? What do I already have that I am not enjoying and not appreciative for?

After tying the mattress to the top of my car, my friend and I met my dad downtown at the UT Tailgate, and my two youngest sisters were there along with my godfather. I had some brisket, a couple beers, and didn't stop smiling. I enjoyed drinking a cold beer on a beautiful day. It wasn't about getting wasted. It wasn't about being in the town I was kinda thrown in. It wasn't about the recent disagreements with my dad and stepmom. It was about the breezy, sunny Saturday. It was about making a pitstop and spending some improv time with family and new faces, enjoying a cold beer and hot-off-the-grill brisket. It was about hopping around town, my hometown and my new home for an indefinite number of years. As I looked up at the clear, blue sky while listening to laughter and shrills belonging to my little sisters and nearby chidren...I just felt...happy.

I feel more in control of my life and where it's headed. I don't feel like I have the option of picking up and leaving if something goes wrong. And I attribute this less to the fact that I can't really just pick up and leave (because as I have done before, I really could just uproot my life and work and living arrangements at any given moment), and more to the fact that I really don't want to.

Saturday afternoon turned into Saturday night and Sunday morning. I ate lots of great food like pumpkin pesto chicken wrapped in bacon and drank a hot cup of coffee while planning out Operation Decoration with my new roomie. This was a weekend of firsts. The first time I want to live where I live; the first time I work where I want to work. It's not all perfect; it's not all ideal, but it's my life. The Lord has gotten me to where I sit today: in my own room with my own bathroom and big closet, with my furry angel laying beside me, with one extraordinary weekend behind me and many more ahead, and with two marketing jobs that I resume tomorrow.

Life is good. My life is good.

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