Thursday, November 18, 2010

alcohol.

I went out with a coworker last night and things got out of hand.  I drank myself sick.  I drove.  I got lost on my way home.  The coworker was fighting with her boyfriend on the phone.  I was sending mean texts to one of my good friends.  I missed work.  I messed up big time.

Right now I'm laying in bed trying to make sense out of my actions.  I do believe I have a drinking problem, I'm just not sure how or what or why.  Once I start drinking, it's difficult to stop.  It's not until the next day when I realize I was out of control.  I had the intention of having a couple of beers and enjoying the band we went to see. But that's not how it happened; that's not how it usually happens 9 out of 10 times.

I feel ashamed.  I feel guilty.  I feel irresponsible.  I feel scared.

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