Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I can appreciate it now. I never did before. I ran from it.

Silence was when my mind started talking, revealing to me my greatest fears and inadequacies. My mother, my drinking, my promiscuity -- NO -- I cannot face these things. They just aren't so. I am okay. I am okay. Don't tell me I'm not okay.

I ran, and I ran from this silence until I found myself collapsed in the dirt, bloodied and bruised from my unsuccessful escape. It was here that the truth caught up with me. Wounded and terrified, I looked into her eyes certain this was the end. Oddly, Truth extended her hand. Even more peculiar, I allowed her to help me to my feet. I was standing. Still as the insect hiding from its prey, I was standing.

It was in this position, hand in hand with Truth, that I accepted all. While accepting my world past and present, I digested only what was necessary. The rest was manure I carefully strewn about with the intent of growing something beautiful out of unanswered plight.

Still, I am standing in my garden of contentment and grace, allowing silence to become one with my being, like the blades of grass extending up between my toes.

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