Thursday, June 3, 2010

Opportunities are Knocking

I am feeling good.

I had a job interview in a town about 2 hours north of where I live. I have been looking to get back on track with my career (right now I'm working part time in a company outside of my preferred industry), and the position for which I interviewed is EXACTly what I want to be doing. I am a bundle of emotions, super excited because I nailed the interview AND my experience is right on with what the position calls for, and also nervous and anxious and all of those kind of emotions that come along with relocating and changing jobs.

Leaving this town is a long time in the making. A part of me wants to hang on to my failed engagement to a man who is now married and a soon-to-be-father, and the other part of me wants to strangle the other part for even feeling like that. But seriously, aside from my crappy pay in a position I'm not interested in, I feel like moving towns is the final goodbye to the old, sour Kristin.

I am a big fan of the phrase, "There's not a geographical solution to an emotional problem," but moving on isn't running away. I stayed in this town two years past the date when the engagement was officially off, I lost the job I loved and settled on crappy jobs and lost those, too. I have been to hell and back in this town, and all awhile I kept my head up as much as possible. No, running away would have happened two years ago. But I stuck around, found a counselor, got on some much-needed medication, and I'm doing okay. I am surviving on $12,000 a year for the last several months now. I have been blessed with a little and thankful for a lot, and my small self is ready to be put to rest. She's tired and ready for my authentic self to take the lead, and my authentic self is ready to fill this role.

I am praying that I get this job, God's will be done. If I don't get this job, then He has something even better in store for me. I must remind myself of this.

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