Thursday, March 25, 2010

Working Toward a New Life

*Finding a new career
*Running my marathon
*Getting back to my old self physically (in shape & tan)
*A closer relationship with God - with this comes forgiveness, hope, and love for myself and others
*Organization - of my home, keeping it clean and tidy, my finances, bill paying and planning for expenses, and my day-to-day activities

So often, I begin something and I do it for a few weeks or so and then lose my discipline. Remaining disciplined and dedicated is something you are taught growing up. This, along with so many other "life nuggets" are instilled in us as children. If you grew up in a household like I did, discipline was the last thing on anyone's mind. I am having to learn on my own so many important aspects of life, and I'm learning them at a cost to my well-being. But, as an adult, I realize it's time to look forward to the future that I do have control over instead of the unfortunate past that was out of my control.

I'm trying to be positive here. But I have to be honest; I don't always, or even usually, truly feel that way. I know this is how I should look at life, but part of me wants to scream from the deepest, darkest depths of my soul. I am angry, saddened, frustrated, pissed off, fed up...the adjectives could go on forever. I know God is my only answer, He is the only thing that can bring me the healing that I need. This week has been a "barely hanging in there" week. But, I want to thrive, not just survive.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day. A chance to begin again. A chance for a new me, a new life.

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