Monday, March 8, 2010

Roller-coaster

Today was one of those days...where 7 days feel crammed into one, with all of a week's worth of errands to run, tasks to complete, and emotions to flow crazily through my body. I was happy yet sad, patient yet frustrated, giving yet stubborn. I loved my job one minute, and wanted to shout "I'm moving to the beach!" the next. "My boss is great." "Who does this guy think he is?!" I was an internal mess.

Then, I was reminded of something my therapist said. It's also something Joyce Meyer preaches heavily about.

Who cares how I feel!

I can't let my emotions dictate how I spend my day, how I treat people, what I do, what I don't do, and so on. The moment I feel something, that emotion will fly away and the next thing I know, here comes a completely different emotion. There are things I have to do in life. There are situations and circumstances completely out of my control, and the only say I'll ever have about any of it is how I choose to deal with it.

Reflecting on how I ended up taking charge of my day sure is easier than when I was going through it! But that's why I enjoy journaling in cyber space - it allows me to do just that, reflect. Thinking back on my day, it wasn't as bad as I first remembered it. After writing this blog, I feel like I can take a deep breath.

And, no matter what happens today or any day, I am able to drive home, to a fridge full of food, to a heater and air conditioner that warms me or cools me to the exact temperature of my liking, to a bedroom with a closet full of clothes and shoes and mismatched socks, and a bed with more pillows and blankets than I could ever possibly need. And my pint-sized dog, who taught me and reminds me what unconditional love, loyalty, and cuddling is all about. He is my guardian angel here on earth.

Open your eyes, Kristin. Be more grateful for what is, and less worried about what will be.

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