Thursday, March 4, 2010

Changing the Course of a Day

Today was a difficult one.

This whole process of growing, it's unsettling. I really have no other way of describing it. When the days are good, I am feeling really good. But...then there's the not-so-good days, and those days leave me feeling, well, not so good. On these days, I have two choices: be defeated by my struggles, or defeat my struggles. I have spent every year of my life on the former, feeling beaten down by life, hopeless that "my time" will ever come, and betrayed by those who should be helping me.

Today was different.

I literally had an argument with myself, and Defeater Kristin showed Defeated Kristin just who's boss. Oh, how Defeated Kristin wanted to lay in bed, comforted by her blankets, where no one can hurt her and the world cannot disappoint. It's kind of hard to be disappointed when I'm not doing much. But something inside me stirred me to my feet; a light started to shine. "You are not going to waste you're day off from work in bed," Defeater Kristin said. I had bills to pay, a dog that needed attention, and a marathon to be trained for. So, I mapped out my afternoon, and Defeater Kristin took control.


And boy am I glad I didn't just stay couped up inside all day! The day was absolutely gorgeous. I went running by the river, and afterwards, reflected on my day and did a bit of spiritual reading on the bridge overlooking the river.

Thank you, Lord, for the strength and courage you give me in my times of need.

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